THE FAN

Balam's Donkey once talked, and the mountain's will one day cry out, but right now, the bowls of my teaspoons over at Edisto, will depict a picture of a cross when I set the table....everytime!
This is the coolest journey, folks! When you sit down at my table, over at Edisto, no matter where you sit, you will see a picture of a cross in the bowl of your spoon.
Everyone will tell you that they see a reflection of "a cross!" I know, that it's the reflection of the fan, but when your focus is on the God who made all of this, then the power of the cross turns a fan into anything it wants!
If your focus is on what the symbol represents, then it will be a cross everytime!
If not, it will look just like a fan, and how disappointing!
Becky

THE MORTAR

Jesus is the mortar that holds us together, between the bricks of death and the bricks of life!
Becky

OUTSIDE THE BOX

David always tried to get me to think outside of the box! Every time I tried to do something on the computer, I would only focus on what I could see, or could understand, and he would try to look beyond my own understanding, and see what they might be telling me. He would tell me to not have tunnel vision, and to think outside the box.
When we are given testing's to grow us in our spiritual walk, we tend to focus on our problem, and we develop "tunnel vision," over our dilemma.
If we think outside of the box, and look at the Master Plan from the Master's point of view, we will trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not on our own understanding, and that's when God does His best work!
Becky

GRANDDADDY

I was just given the most incredible family morsel from brother Jeff, and if I didn't know that God was in control, it would have blown me away!
I think you may remember when I told you that my Grandfather, ran off from my Grandmother for a period of eight years for another woman, and when he came back, she forgave him and took him back. Well, it seems there was more to this story than I knew, because I wasn't born then when it happened!
Jeff asked me if I knew why my Mother left the Baptist church?
I said I never knew we were in the Baptist church, but that I always understood that we were members of the Methodist church.
He said my Grandfather was the Baptist preacher in Mount Dora, and Grandmother played the piano. Granddaddy ran off with the choir director and stayed away with her in California, for those eight years or more!
Mother was so upset that she moved us to the Methodist church!
And now you (and me) know the rest of the story!
and in everything give thanks!
......And God knew this before hand and worked all things for His good,
and gave to me a Grandmother who created an atmosphere of love for the Lord, like none I have ever known!
All in a tiny trailer in Riley's Trailer Park, and knowing that this little girl would grow up and meet a man who didn't really know God, and that she would marry him because she loved him, but that she would remember the words in her Grandmother's trailer about God's promises, because they were built on words that can never fail!
Becky

PLYMOUTH ROAD KING

****I am leaving for Edisto this morning and will be gone through the weekend.
Be back on the computer on Monday.~~~~Bec



When I was in high school, my Daddy found an old 1940 Plymouth Road King for $150.00, and brought it home for me in my junior year! "Sir Frances Wallace" as I dubbed "her", had the original coat of paint and the original tires on her, and I adored her!
I picked up Warren( "Wah"); Robert; and Tara, and faithfully took them to school every morning too. Frances had some funny quirks about her though. She didn't have a radio, so I hung my transistor radio around the rear view mirror just so we could hear some semblance of music! She had a vent that you had to pull firmly shut under the front dashboard(if you could call it that!) to keep the wind from coming in( which I didn't find out about until after winter was over!), and the funniest one was that in order for the windshield wipers to work, you had to let off of the gas!
Since Mount Dora was so small, and the speeds weren't fast, this didn't cause much of a problem, because it hardly ever rained, but when it did going to school, was hilarious, because I would drive a little ways, and let off of the gas, and let the wipers go crazy, and then drive a little ways and let off of the gas and let them go again!
Certainly not very efficient, but how I loved that car!
I tried to do all of this in my own power, but they just wouldn't go! They needed me to let off, and let go!
God wants us to do the same thing with our lives. When we come to that point in our life, when we realize that we can't do anything on our own power, if we will let off our own steam, and give it all to the power of God, we will see how very far we do go!
....and we won't need a transistor or vent to make it either, because we will have the glorious voice of God with us and all His warmth!
Becky

DELIGHT YOURSELF

Many of you have heard me tell this before, but now that I am walking through it, I think it bears repeating....
Gods word says that if you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. Well, back in September, two days before my David went into ICU, I stopped by Nellah's house and I told her that it was unlike me to be so excited about this trip to Israel, with him being so sick, and said I was only going to tell her this, that I didn’t think David was going to be here this next year, and that's why God had given me this trip to Israel!
He was giving me this trip as something to look forward to this March!
He knew I delighted in Him and that He was giving me the desire of my heart!
Now, here I am, almost to February, and I am getting ready to go to ISRAEL!
Can you tell I am excited?
This God of ours is so awesome and creative when He plans things for us! Now, if He will just fine my address book!
Becky

MY TREASURE

I have two shadow boxes in my kitchen/dining room area, where I have placed all my little miniature treasures that have meant so much to me over the years. If I use one of them for something else, there's a big hole on the shelf!
It's still my treasure, but I had another use for it that day.
Jesus has done this for us too!
He is our treasure and has made us His treasure too! When the cross placed Him in the tomb, He stayed there for three days, but death couldn't keep Him! His Father had another use for Him!
He was raised from the dead and has given us the eternal hope that we could be too, if we put our trust in Him!
No tomb was gonna keep our Treasure, Jesus Christ!
I know I can't take any of my special treasures with me when I leave this world, but one day, my Special Treasure will come and take me back Home with Him!
Woo Hoo!
Becky

SCE& G

I have been given one of the dearest gifts a wife could ever have been given, from her sweetheart after he has died. I opened a bill, from SCE& G, this morning, and for the third time in a row, I was told I had a credit. ......a big credit too! I couldn't figure out why either. Seems like David set it up to pay my electric bill for this first year! Talk about someone who was always looking out for me! I always told people that David was concerned for me and how I would get along, but I don't think they,( myself included )understood how concerned that he really was for me!
I don't know many husbands who would think that far ahead to do something like that for their wives. David was always about family and caring for others! I was just getting to the point where I thought I could begin to write more about other things, and then this change happened, so bear with me, folks......I'm still healing!
Isn't it great that we have a God that never changes, but just gets better and better?
Becky

POPCORN

This was one of my most favorite journey's!
I loved it when David sold his "Trail's End" popcorn. for the Boy Scouts! It was some of the very best popcorn, because it didn't leave a lot of kernels, but gave you a wonderful and tasty popped popcorn taste!
The one thing about popcorn, is that it is nothing but a kernel, until you place it over a flame of fire. It is the intense heat that causes the popcorn to explode into what makes it so wonderful. (Just imagine what that kernel must feel like though!) Only when the heat is applied do we see its full potential!(Or rather taste its full potential!)
The developing Christian is a lot like that kernel! We can be plain ole kernel's, (folks) until we are placed under the fire of affliction, and then God promises and His plans for us, and when the heat is intensified, we will pop forth as new creatures in Christ! We will become the new creatures that He so deemed us to be all along!
Some popcorn is salty to taste; some sweet tasting; some real syrupy, and some is even color coated. I'd say that popcorn has a lot in common with the human race, wouldn't you? We can be filled with God's word and fun to be with! Salt is used as a preservative, and I can't think of anything better than for us to preserve the word of God, than by popping forth and just "doing it"!
Becky

ETERNALLY REFRESHED

As I walk along these days when I am grieving, I see God's hands holding me up. It's like walking along the side of those streams of living water that Christ always wants to take us to, for us to be refreshed. Those streams of living waters, where He will restore our souls! I have been walking side by side with my Lord these past few days. He knows I don't want to go through this time, and yet He also knows that because He feels that I need to go through this, that I will obey Him, and walk through it. It is not fun, I can guarantee you! I know that for me to genuinely heal, I have to go through this time, and with God's help I will. He has been so faithful to stay by my side this entire time. He has been with me ever since I was a little girl, so why would He leave me now? I love the time that I am under His wing right now, but when He restores my soul, one day in the future, I will be eternally under His wing and He will restore me to my other love too.
Talk about being refreshed!
Becky

GOD'S WORD

I had to go to the doctor the other day, and the assistant had to measure my weight and height. The chart showed that I had shrunk two and a half inches in height! I sort of figured this to be correct, because I could no longer reach the middle shelves in our kitchen cabinets.
I don't like change, so this wasn't funny!
There's one area of my life, though, that I can always depend on, and that's the word of God! It will never, ever change, and will stand forever!
God's word will stay the same today, as it was when it was first written!
Becky

GRIEVING 2X

Yes, I do love God! He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. "Without Him I am nothing, but with Him I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."(Phillippians 4:13)
Since God allowed my tears to begin falling at Christmas, I found that they came all too easily and much to often to suit me. When Gaye came to visit a few days ago, and I realized that I was actually going through the process of grieving over my son, David, from fifteen years ago, I didn't like it one bit....but I knew I had to go through it never the less! I know it seems impossible that I wouldn't have gone through this back in 1995, but it doesn't seem so impossible to me at all........ I have such a tremendous and simple faith in my God, that whatever He wants to do, is okay with me. So, in my mind, then, if it was time for my son to go back Home, then God had that right, because David was God's before he was mine! I just accepted the fact and went on with my life, and besides David was there to help me along the way. Now, September of 2010 rolls into existence, and my sweetheart leaves me and I have no-one to help me go through the process of getting over him. It dawns on me that I am grieving over not only David, my sweetheart, but finally God is taking me through the grief process of losing my son too!
Oh is it ever hurting too! I don't like it one bit, but I know I have to go through it.
I always tell people that losing a child is like having a part of your guts ripped out. Well, this week, I have my guts and my heart ripped out at the same time, and it hurts!
As the quote at the beginning said, my God is ever faithful, and I do know that He is the source of my existence and of my family's existence too.
All I do is through His strength! I will stay under His wing until He deems I am strong enough to be placed under the shadow of His wing again.
I can only pray that He does it before I leave for Israel, because I would look rather funny flying into Israel, with the Savior's arms wrapped around me, instead of coming back with Him in the clouds!
Becky

WAX MYRTLE

This was written at Christmas, so bear with me, please!
I watched a small miracle take place tonight! I watched David's best friend, Allen, step into his shoes and pick up right where my sweetheart would have left off! Allen and Theresa drove out to Kay and Henry's farm house to pick me up, so I wouldn't have to drive on the icy roads. We drove back to George and Melissa's house for supper with the kids, and when he walked in, he scooped them up in his arms, just like David always did, and it did my heart so much good. Their arms were laden with gifts for the kids, and it was just as if "Cap'n Dave" was right there! He and George had there cigar smokes, like always, and then we watched a six minute video of Melissa's son interviewing his Grandfather, "Cap'n Dave", and asking him seven questions on what it was like growing up during the depression!
That was the most touching video for me to watch, folks, and something I will always treasure...... I watched Allen's facial features, and his face just lit up watching his friend. There's a lot of truth that true friends take on the characteristics of their friends....
Allen and David were like Mutt and Jeff, and the grands will now be able to see Cap'n Allen at Christmas!
Becky

TWO OF THE BEST

We were a small town, and a small class. There wasn't anything extraordinary about us as people,....... but then again, there was! Somewhere along the line we all had Mothers and Fathers that stayed committed to stay together as a family. They lived together and taught us the principles of what being a family of good, sound character was all about! There were 21 of us that started off in first grade together, and 21 out of 59 that graduated together in 1965! Two of those same friends sent me notes after David died, expressing how sad they were for me, for David's death. Neither Robert nor Del had ever met David, but because we had always been close as children, and our parents had taught us that this is what you did, they followed their parents example and sent me notes! These are traits you don't learn on the bathroom walls either!
Del's Mother always wore white gloves and was the ultimate lady!
Robert's Mother had a wonderful voice and could arrange flowers beautifully!
These two ladies could always make you feel welcome, and their two sons have learned these characteristics of caring for others too.
We are, in the same manner, to be imitators of Jesus Christ, and to do unto others as we would have them to do unto ourselves!
I would say that these two have learned the lesson quite well, which makes them two of the best of the class of '65!
Becky

SOLID ROCK FOUNDATION

I've told you about Robert and Del, in my high school class, but let me mention how Jeannie and Linda have touched my heart since David died. Jeannie is always going out of her way to think of me with something special, and she will send it at just the right time! It was no surprise for me to unwrap a package from her that made a "baah baahing" sound, to find a precious wool sheep from Australia.
(She knew I loved my sheepies!)
Then at Christmas, she sent me the most beautiful black purse, with delightful "doodads" all over it.
Such a reminder of a caring friend!
Linda will often call and write letters to lift me up and she also sent a book at Christmas, containing messages that her sister had written dealing with loss. She knew that I would remember her sister, Mary, and that it would mean a lot.
Jeannie's Mother and Father, as well as Linda's Mother and Father, were all part of my growing up in Mount Dora. I knew Del and Robert's parents, as well as Jeannie's and Linda's, and in a small town, everyone knows each other's parents, and you find that the caring grows and extends out to the children as well....
When you base your lives on the foundation of a God centered family, it will inevitably show up in the lives of the children, in the years to come.
I haven't even mentioned Patty or Tara either, but I won't go there right just yet.......
It was just a good solid foundation all around, and I thank my God for these very special friends from childhood!
Becky

ROAD GRADER

My journey friends~~~~
Once again, my Great God has taken care of me big time! While we have been down here, David bought a road grader, that all the folks on this road, pitched in to help pay for. He and a neighbor would consistently grade the dirt road, coming into Jeannine Court. Well, after David died, this neighbor said that he would keep it over at his house and grade the road, but it didn't get graded as much, and the pot holes in the road were really getting bad. He told me that it needed a new battery, so I contacted some of the other owners and one of them emailed me back and said he would put in a new one this weekend. However, I was told that this neighbor, who had the grader, had now moved back to Aiken, and was renting out his house. The grader was sitting outside in his driveway, and I could get it if I wanted too..
I was so just over this, and making myself sicker with worry, because I no longer had a four wheel to pull it back home, and because of what David would have thought about the situation....... He did not want anyone to do anything that would cause me to have to worry over the house. I called several friends who I thought might have a four wheeler to see if they could come move it, and when I called Herman, he said he had already driven his truck down; picked it up, and brought it back to the house.
God love him!
This was all on the day when I had a doctor's appointment, followed by an MRI, so my plate was full! David always drove me to these exams, because I always had to take something before I underwent that "tunnel experience", and never was able to drive myself home. Pat Youmans offered to drive me home afterwards today, while John drove my car!
Talk about God providing friends from the body of Christ!
The nurse technician even called Allen, who is a doctor in Aiken, and David's best friend, and told him that I did fine during the test. He knew I was concerned about the grader and upset going into this, and wanted to check on me too.
Yes, we serve a God that knows the number of individual grains of sand in the whole wide world, and yet knows the stars by name, and He has taken care of His little star, Becky, today, in a mighty big way!
Becky

DO YOU?

I'm taking my journey friends on a two day journey today.
God has so wonderfully indulged me this time under His wing, right now.
He is watching over me, just like He did, when David junior died, and I know, when it's time, He will place me out under the shadow of His wing.
I'm not there yet, because I'm still very fragile. My strength comes from God, and yet I am still fragile, and He knows best how to care for me!
He will place me there, and I will be stronger in His strength~~~~You'll see!
My voice won't quiver! I won't tear up! I won't be fragile or tender quite so often! It doesn't mean I won't have those down days, because they will always pop up as a reminder. It just means that God thinks that I am strong enough to be out of the dark, and in a little more sunlight with the Son close by. He wants to take me out from under His wing and place me under the shadow of His wing! When I am totally strong enough, He will stand me tall and erect in the full "Son"!!!
What a clever and compassionate God we serve!
God continues to give me these images, and I give them to others, in the hopes that they might help someone to heal in their hurting.
To me, the best thing that came from my losses, would be to understand, that through them, God drew me so close to Him, that when I got so close to Him, I didn't ever want to leave! It also enabled me to realize for the first time, that absolutely NOTHING in life mattered but my Lord!
When you can say that He is first in your life, and get so close to Him, that whatever He gives you~~~(and you really have to trust and mean this when you say it)~~~~that if it's okay with God (for whatever reason), then it will be okay with you!~~~~
No if and's or but's!
I can honestly say, that after all I have been through in my life, that living this way is the most contented way to live. No, you don't always get what you want, but if it's God's whose doing the calling, it will be the best decision in the long run!
This glorious God who created us, knows us better than we think we know ourselves, and if He can array the lilies of the field in all their splendor, then I think He will take care of us too! In order to do this, there is one stipulation. We have to get to know the Father, and abide in Him everyday. It is a wonderful place to live all the time, and abiding there is better than anyplace I know!
Now, that's contentment!
Becky

FAMILY PORTRAIT

We tend to hold on to those memories of our parents that we want to, and we disregard those that are too painful or unpleasant for us to remember. We dwell on those that we think are a blessing in our lives, and that's good, because it gives us a picture of how God takes those many unpleasant situations and can work them together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
My Daddy never could understand why I couldn't take a column of figures and immediately add them up to a correct total, like he could.
I could have told him, that math wasn't my calling.
Daddy and I had nothing in common with math!
However, when we began drawing together, that was a different story!
Daddy saw my possibilities, and began to teach me all he knew, and I took in everything he had to give me, at an early age!
My attitude for both attributes was one of thanksgiving though. I became aware that my talents did not lie in either figures or numbers, but in drawing, and writing. I was thankful that Daddy made me aware of this, as unpleasant as those math episodes were.
God chose to take that unpleasant situation, and work it together for my good, so I could see where my talents really were. I had to really work on the math area (and still do!) and cultivate the drawing talent.
God gives us all the aspects of our personality, so that we can nurture some and improve others.
Daddy taught me so much while he was still alive, and he was just my earthly Father!
God knew me before I was ever conceived and teaches me now even after He died and was raised from the dead!
How about that for a Father?!
Becky

THE ROPES COURSE

When I taught Physical Education in Aiken, we were required to go through the ropes course at Camp Gravatt. This was designed for us to get recertified in our field, but it also taught us to trust those with whom we were working. When I was correctly strapped and connected to the guide wires, and standing at ready on a platform 40 feet in the air, and my co workers instructed me to jump off, I had to trust that they knew what they were doing, and that those below would tighten the guide wires sufficiently enough to catch my fall!(This was all after I thought they must be joking!) There is a bond of trust that develops that is called faith in each other.....
My trust and faith in them keeping me from falling, was like the "substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen".
I trusted their hold of those guide wires to secure its hold of me too!
It's the same way on our walk with our Christian faith.
Sometimes we have to just hold on and trust this God we cannot see. He is, after all, the substance of things hoped for, and is definitely, the evidence of things not seen. Because we know God's character so well, we know without a doubt, that He will NOT let us fall. He will uphold us with His righteous right hand!
He is our portion; our very present help in time of trouble and He will be right there with outstretched arms when we call out to Him, and believe me when I was jumping off that platform at 40 feet up in the air, I was calling out to Him!
Becky

WOODY WOODPECKER

When I was still getting perms in my hair, I would often get them, and then get my hair cut so that the top would be curly, but the sides and back would be short. David would often remark that I looked like Woody Woodpecker!
Sometimes now, when I brush my hair that way, I get a mental picture of Woody, and a reminder of David!
It's the same way with our Lord.
He has given us a mental picture of Him in His word, and when we see it in His word, and keep it in our hearts and minds,
we will have a daily reminder of Him too!
Perhaps then, we will begin looking just like Jesus, and believe me, that is a whole lot better than looking like Woody Woodpecker!
Becky

IN THE EYES OF THE LORD

When I was in the sixth grade, our elementary school moved into a brand new facility and added new school rooms onto an existing building, but in order to do this, they had to remove several beautiful old oak trees!
Several of "us" girls decided to ban together around the base of the trees, and sing a lament of brokenhearted pleas to not tear down our trees! We didn't want them to kill those trees, because it broke our hearts,............... but they did it anyway!
God has also put it in the hearts of the believers to stand up for the lives of the unborn too! We need to call out to the people who want to kill those who haven't started out on their journey yet.....the unborn!
Just as I stood around the base of those trees and sang for them not to be removed, and in essence....killed, so should we also plea to the Father, and to others, to help stop the killing, and removing these lives!
Alas, as in olden days, the hearts of the people grew hard, and they did evil in the sight of the Lord anyway. I'm afraid without God in their lives, these people will go on and do just what "they" think is right in their own eyes, so let's get busy praying and pleaing!
Becky

THE REAL CHRISTMAS

I'm going to write this for my journey tomorrow, because I haven't had time to write anything about my Christmas, since I returned from Aiken.....
This was a different Christmas for me this year, but let me tell you about this faithful God of mine and how He has helped me heal, through the ministry of Mike Kellogg.(That's right, Rick!) While staying at Kay's house, all her family gathered together for Christmas night, and "I'll be Home For Christmas" began playing on the radio. I had to leave the room, it hit me so hard! I went back to my bedroom and got into scripture for my strength. I had the radio on" December Live," and Mike Kellogg came on with a reading of "The Real Christmas", that spoke to my heart like nothing else ever has!
I have to tell you that since David died, I have found it very hard to let go and cry. There have always been little ones around that get upset if "Grammy B" weeps, and even my own children are upset if I break down, so I just keep that stiff upper lip, and move on for everyone's sakes!
Mind you, I don't want to cry all the time, but if I wanted to, I couldn't, so when Mike Kellogg told this story, he unleashed my tears!
Seems there was a lady who had been married to a man for 60 years, and he was dying with Alzheimer's. He didn't recognize his wife or anyone. On this particular day, he suddenly said "What about the cattle?" She moved closer to him, and said" What cattle? To which he replied. "The cattle are lowing". She was thoroughly confused, but she had always been honest with him, so she moved closer to him, and said "what about them lowing?"
He sat straight up in the bed, and said" Oh no, the poor baby sleeps".....
It was then, that she realized that even though he couldn't remember her, or anyone else, he could remember somewhere in his mind that it was Christmas time, and time to sing Christmas carols. She placed her head on his chest and sang......"Away in a manger, no crib for a bed".....and he died!
This was the picture of me as I placed my hand on David's arm, and told him that it was okay and that I loved him,..... and he died!
What a blessing from God!
Becky