WHO MOVED?

When my son David died, I had my sweetheart, David to hold onto for support, so that whole "grieving" process and the walk through it was made so much easier for me. I know for those first several weeks, I wouldn't go anywhere without David by my side, because I felt like a lost puppy, and I had him to hold onto.
Now that my David has died, and my children haven't been able to come back down here to the house, I am thinking through this whole process again. Kelly is missing her Daddy, but instead of coming down here to her Mother, she is clinging to her sweetheart, just as I did. She also has that precious little Emery to occupy her thoughts. This makes so much sense to me now, as to why she hasn't been down here. She has lost a brother and a Father, and so who does she think is next on her list? This house represents loss to her, and I'm pretty certain that in the back of her mind she is contemplating this too, without even realizing it.
My head realizes this. Now, if my heart will only understand it too. If I will stay in God's word and especially His word put to music, my heart is soothed, while clinging to His promises at the same time.
Personally, I do not like going through this process, because it takes me through a reflection period and sometimes that makes me dwell on me too much....and that, I don't like to do!
I want to dwell on the presence of God.
However, I have promised Him, that I would go through this because He wanted me to walk through it. (I wish I were as strong as my Grandmother Bouterse through this!)
My sweet daughter and I have always been so close, and I suppose that is why I feel so bereft right now. I miss my daughter, and I need her.
It gives me a pretty good picture of how God feels about us when we stay away from Him too!
Becky