MOM'S

Even though I have posted some of these thoughts before, I will post them again, as I have been asked by newer journey friends what to say and do when a child dies, or for that matter, when anyone dies.
So here is some of the list to the best of my remembrance!
1.)When someone dies, and you need to go visit the remaining spouse or family member, don't hesitate for fear of what to say! You don't actually need to say a thing. A hug is the biggest form of support you could ever give a grieving person! They need the compassion and hugs like never before, but at that time, especially!
Probably the biggest hinderance for folks going to people in a funeral line, is that they "DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY".......
2)Please don't be afraid of mentioning the child's name for fear of making them cry .
Trust me on this!
You could never hurt a Mother any more than she's already been hurt, when she's given a child back to God, if you think you're gonna hurt her by mentioning her child's name again.
Actually, when you mention that child's name, you will bring the biggest smile to her face ever! Bring up funny things about the child that died and remembrances, and little things you remember about that child, and it will make them feel such a bond of love between the two of you.
It's a funny thing about a Mother, when a complete stranger.....or even a friend, starts talking about their child, even the whole world could fall apart, and it wouldn't matter! But...... when someone is talking about her child in a loving way, and she is loving it, that's a whole new ballgame!
3)Remember to keep in touch with those who have lost someone several weeks and months after the death, so they realize the depth of your love.
4)Offer a scholarship or a memorial of some type in their memory to be given to that Mom.That will really honor their child's memory. A scholarship was given in my son's memory 14 years ago, and it is still going on today.....What a living tribute to his memory!
5)You will also come in contact with those who offer meaningless words that will somehow crush you.~~~~Remember Jobs friends!
My "Mom's" always say to "Forgive Jobs friends".....and you must do this too, with those who say the wrong thing and unintentionally hurt you.
I hope these few words will help along the way. There are many, many more, and if this ole brain thinks of them, I will pass them along.
Giving a child back to God is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but when you realize that before the foundation of the earth, God knew that my son was only gonna live for those twenty years, and equipped me to live and deal with understanding that, it makes it so much easier!
Isn't our God great to do this?
Becky