THAT'S MY GOD

People are always so surprised when I say I am content! Then, when I tell them I was content when Kelly told me to leave during the delivery of Emery, they are amazed!
There are two different types of contentment though, folks. There is a contentment that you have a little bit of control over, and one where you play an active part in being content with whatever circumstances you are given. This is usually what people see. Then there is a contentment that comes from within that comes directly from God's thoughts to yours. The best example I can give you, is when I was suppose to be in the delivery room with Kelly, but when she was in the middle of a contraction, she "saw" her Mommie, and couldn't stand having her Mommie in the delivery room with her, so she said,"Mom, I don't want you in here....out!" Oh that absolutely crushed me, but you don't argue with a woman going through a contraction, so I left!
~~~~and went straight to the bathroom and cried like a baby!
The next thing I did was to call Nellah and have her pray for me!
Then, it was as if God was just waiting for me to stop and wait for Him to speak to me, and "if" He could have had an audible voice, this is what He would have said to me~~~~"Becky, I know how much you wanted to be in there, but for some reason you aren't suppose to be in there. You don't know the reason, and I do, and if it's okay with me that you're not in there, then it will be okay with you, won't it?" I looked up and smiled and said,"Ofcourse, Lord!" ~~~~~ And that was all I needed!
I had a chance to share this with Kelly the next morning as I was holding Emery, and she was shocked! She had no idea I was so crushed, but I felt like she needed to know my feelings, but more importantly, she needed to know how God will revive a wounded heart~~~~~even her Mother's!
That's being so close to God, that He will give you a passive, laid back kind of contentment in the middle of a rainstorm of tears.
My God is an Awesome God, and He reigns!
Woo Hoo!
Becky