DADS

I am writing this from being a Mom who has given back to God, a son, at the age of twenty, some fourteen years ago.
Nonetheless, I can still remember that pain, as if it were yesterday, and I am using the knowledge and the wisdom from my weekends with my "Mom's Who Lost Children" to write this letter. When we come together, we are presented with a variety of situations and are faced with how to deal with them. One of the things we have discovered is that we are much easier at talking about what we face. It's easier for women to talk! I think we were born with this trait. We love community and God programmed us this way. We love bringing casseroles; notes, and visiting, whereas it's harder for a man to do those things, because he's not programmed this way. My Mom's all have felt strongly about this and feel that the men get short changed here quite a lot.
They usually don't have that group of people that come along side and minister directly to them, so that's why I felt compelled to write this letter. Please take it in the sense it was written, and with the heart of love that I say this.
When a child dies in a family, the emotion all seems to be placed on the Mom, but deep down inside, that Dad is crushed. He is the provider, and this was something he couldn't fix! We Mom's have felt that hopefully some of the other Dad's would reach way down inside themselves and come alongside these Dads during this time, and remember to call them; go work on a car together; take them out for coffee every few days; go by and just talk; give them a chance to just vent their feelings if they want; go fishing or play a game of basketball.....These are just some things that the Mom's talked about. It's important to keep doing this every few days, so they won't feel forgotten. It's nice to call, once a week, and let them know you are thinking about them, and please try not to say for them to call if they need you. Take it from me, a person who has lost a child, almost never wants to ask anyone for anything, much less call them for anything. I don't know why, but it's true with almost all of us, that I know. You make the effort and call them, or just go by.
I hope my thoughts have not offended anyone, but I know that all my Mom's are concerned about the lack of support for the Dad's, after a child dies.......... They hurt too.
Thanks for listening, and I hope these have helped.
Becky